I’ve been planting flower bulbs, dug up and saved from my dad’s garden. This wasn’t part of my studies or a significant decision based on future practical applications...instead a kind of heavenly intervention, allowing these past two weeks to become more palatable, digestible and therefore nourishing.
I returned home, two weeks ago today, after an exhilarating week’s residency at school. Though exhausted, I was also full of enthusiasm and excellent semester ideas that patiently stood waiting by the exit sign in the hallway of my mind. Usually a 2:00 a.m. sorta gal, I went to bed at 9:00 p.m. With only four hours of sleep behind me, I was buzzed awake by my cell phone. This call was to become one of those early morning calls that no one ever wants to receive. Tim was on the other end and as I tried to wake up I remembered that Hayley was spending the night at her best friend’s house (Tim’s daughter). I heard him say that Hayley was very sick…that the girls had gotten into his liquor cabinet.
7. Dandy Seed Head
I’ve been working on planting all of these bulbs now for the past 8 days straight. I really should’ve counted them all, just for stories sake. The smallest is half the size of the tip of your pinky finger. The largest will grow into a robust daffodil. I‘m quite sure of that. After not being able to purchase any new plants, for the last 3 or 4 years, I determined not to waste even the smallest offering. I’ve wrestled daily, almost moment-by-moment, with the time it has taken to clean out areas around my house in order to set these potential plants into a thriving environment. Tagro, new earth, water, sun…it’s a lot to consider when you should be inside doing your homework.
Tim seemed confused at how sick Hayley was and I just said, “I’m coming…I’ll be right over!” This is the second time this summer my 17 year old has caused me to run a red light and with Erica’s house, not even two miles away, I made good time. The girls have been best-buds since they were three years old. My Hayley left indelible memories in the minds of her elementary teachers, as she would often ride Erica down the halls horseback, to their next class, lunch or recess. Erica is now nearly six foot tall and a busty blonde Barbie look-alike, but even back then, could handle Hayley on her back with ease. This night was different though. As I broke into the house and rushed upstairs I could hear Erica’s voice calling from her bedroom, “Mom, will Hayley be ok?”
I didn’t always enjoy working in the yard. My love of these perfect floral gifts came around the time when I could no longer stay inside my home. I needed to be at home but the conflict that ensued within was too much, so an escape (for both of us) needed to be found. I labored hard outside. Beating myself up, trying to work out my life…many times in tears and physical pain. And for all this angst my yard gave me pure pleasure and beauty. I learned to trust those plants even when I couldn’t trust anything or anyone else.
Hayley had re-garnered my trust after a first encounter with beer just last June. The birthday girls’ brother brought the alcohol (along with several of his buddies) to the party, whom then offered it to the under aged kids. Parents were away. Hayley took what they offered and ended up very sick. Now approaching the top of the stairs I could see her lying on a rug in the middle of the landing. Four doorways all shoot out from this landing: one bathroom and three bedrooms. The first bedroom on the left was Erica’s. The floor next to the bed was covered in vomit…lots of it and it wasn’t hers. I walked straight to Hayley. Bending over her (and without forethought) I sharply slapped her across the face three times yelling, “Hayley, did you have something to drink?” Her head rotated, revealing black eyes that stared blankly towards the ceiling; barely audible, a moan passed her lips. I looked up, catching Erica’s mom’s eyes, and a quick decision to call an ambulance was agreed upon.
…I’d say possibly three hundred bulbs total, counting the littlest. That’s a lot of purging and planting when you have so much work to do inside. Though I was hard on myself for wasting time, instead of stopping, I continued to plant minute pieces of hope for tomorrow…feeding my garden and without knowing it, feeding myself. To be put into a position of great power, life and death really, and to be alone while doing it, always makes me wonder if God really knows who He’s given so much responsibility to. Yet promises of never being given more than I could manage, ring deep, deeper than my favorite seated Magnolia.
8. Rainbow Cactus
Hayley was taken to the Emergency room at Allenmore Hospital and after much hydration she came to. Several hours passed. She was very silly and quite drunk but with an alcohol level of (only) point 2, by 7:00 a.m., it was safe for her to go home. Hours later, with Hayley tucked in bed, I felt like I could go to sleep myself. We both stayed put the entire next day. It was Sunday.
I have but one more day’s work before all my bulbs are set. This spring will be the most glorious yet, even though it may well be our last in this home. With twenty-three years of planting and promises, pulling up and profound silence, the garden has done its job. Always faithful, always giving and always there, just as I will continue to be, for those that have been entrusted to my care.
No comments:
Post a Comment